So, I am actually a total fuck up right now. Actually am so glad I'm not going to school with anyone I know ever again because it would just be such a mess. I mean, I just got a missed called from my ex-best friend's best friend, so I text her to ask why she'd called because we aren't friends and we don't speak. She called back but actually it wasn't her, it was my other ex-best friend. She asked if I was going to her gig, and I know for a fact that I'm not because I'm going to another gig that night and even though I absolutely adore her band I knew she would hate for me to be there so I decided to go elsewhere. I know all this for definite, so why the fuck did I say 'uh, I'm not sure yet why?' WHY DID I FUCKING SAY THAT?! So she told me not to come, and I said that I wouldn't because I think I'm going to the Bleached Wail gig. I AM GOING TO THE BLEACHED WAIL GIG! I don't think, I know. Why on earth am I such a bell-end? I think I was just in shock to hear her voice, because I miss her as a best-friend so much. I mean, she is stunning; beautiful, kind, funny, the best basically. I totally screwed her over, and it's properly understandable why she hates my guts and proper never wants anything at all to do with me ever again. Still, I do miss her so bloody much. So hearing her voice kinda turned my brain to mush I reckon, which is why I answered like a pleb and said the wrong things. Then she put the phone down like 'k bye' and I sat here, and I started crying! Jeez, I am actually an emotional wreck these days. Why would I cry because of this? It's pathetic I know, and this is just one of many reasons I'm glad that I am going to a new college with full-on new people. All my life is changing right now, I'm changing and it is good. It could be so, so much better but life is shit at the best of times so I may as well make the most of having the tiniest bit of a bright side to it just now.